So the girl we had the birthday party for the other week is 14. She does not know how to cook anything, and her Mother isn't about to try to teach her. she has an appointment on Thursday and I am taking her and we are going to come back here and try to show her how to do a few things. Her Mother has a baby sitter for her and her 6 year old sister, baby sitter is from what I gather either dumber than owl S or lazy, so she doesn't cook them anything.

I asked her for a little list of things she wants to try.

Grilled cheese
Eggs
Mac N Cheese (probably Kraft, cause it is the cheesiest)

I will probably add in the packs of mashed potatoes 2 cups water 3 minutes in the microwave the stir in. how can you mess that up. Maybe another staple of ramen noodles also.

She is not very responsible and I am not sure how the whole cooking on the stove when her Mother is not there is going to go. Also she still add and subtracts using her fingers so not sure how the whole measuring cup thing will go when doing somethings.

So any suggestions or advice?



I was going to go buy her some measuring cups and spoons, but her aunt asks me why i think I would need to do that her Mother has all of that. I said remember when I asked if she had a skillet with a lid and she said no, there ya go.

Does she have developmental issues?

I guess I think part of cooking is getting her to understand measuring, so getting her to understand measurement cups and measuring spoons. Baking is a simple way to achieve that and most kids like chocolate chips cookies and like making them and so learn quickly how to measure.

Grilled cheese and eggs sounds good.

Hard to suggest when not sure what she likes or will eat.  Will she eat soup?  Pretty easy to show how to use a can opener and heat on stove.  Will she eat tuna fish -- again, pretty easy to open can, drain, add mayo and spread on bread.  Could even go fancy and show her how to make a tuna melt. Are you going to take her to a grocery store and show her all the things available?

You are doing her a great service and baby steps may lead to a whole new world of food choices for her.

Does she have developmental issues?

No, but it is difficult to explain, Mother that doesn't allow them to do anything or really take them anywhere or do anything with them. Partly because she lies and tries to be sneaky. Plus typical 14 year old girl, hates everything and everyone except the people that agree with or coddle her.

Well I gotta say I would take probably a less traveled road, if her experiences are limited or stifled I would offer a few options, sandwich makings, simple soup, frozen heat and eats etc. Then wait until she is ready to eat and let her pick....we can make grilled cheese, heat some soup, bake some pizza rolls, boil some ramen, bake a pizza and just stand back and wait for the next clue from her.
My 2 cents, sounds like a good chance to be a grounding force that allows her to experiment.

as mentioned she gave me a starting list. So we are going with that to start.

The baking thing may be a good try also, I would have to make sure she tried this at home when she had some supervision. I think she could learn some of the stuff if she actually wanted to. I know we will be devoting at least an hour to some of her homework tomorrow, she was not doing well in school before all the Rona stuff and home school is far worse as no one but my GF (her Aunt) and myself try to push or help her with it. Most times it is done over the computer and I end up getting frustrated because she doesn't pay attention or there is so much noise in the background it is worse yet.

I am going to stop and pick up some things, so I may look for the little packs of cookie mix that you just add some egg, oil and water to. I have to find a starting point I guess.

Her Mother is picky as is her aunt when it comes to eating things. So she is not exposed to much variety and mom really doesn't cook, and her boyfriend if he does it is something odd. The other day he fed them spaghettios on white bread with some cheese on top, and he makes something else that I tried and I said that is really good, but i was not at all, so the kids won't eat he stuff he makes.

Learning to cook for the most part i don't think is hard if you, A want to learn and B are in an environment where you see it happening and someone is willing to let you join in and help.

I do appreciate the advice so far. I never wanted children because I was and am one my self, far to much responsibility for me.

Do you cook for yourself when around her?  Does she get to see and smell and experience folks eating different things.  Not trying to force them on her, just preparing and eating things where she can see it and smell it -- and who knows, might ask for a taste if she knew that she wasn't expected to consume it but that it was for someone else?

Also, you said she likes drumsticks.  Could you buy a package of drumsticks, one or two packs of Shake-n-Bake and show her how to coat, put on a pan, start the oven and set a timer?

Do you cook for yourself when around her?  Does she get to see and smell and experience folks eating different things.  Not trying to force them on her, just preparing and eating things where she can see it and smell it -- and who knows, might ask for a taste if she knew that she wasn't expected to consume it but that it was for someone else?

Also, you said she likes drumsticks.  Could you buy a package of drumsticks, one or two packs of Shake-n-Bake and show her how to coat, put on a pan, start the oven and set a timer?

Yes I cook when they are around and when there is any type of family gathering I get elected. As far as different things, well if cooking for their family, I know to color far inside the lines. As for her tastes, I know she complains that things have to much seasoning at their house when something is cooked. Lawry's, garlic powder and black pepper is the primary seasoning there. We have stopped at a BBQ place when we had them, got a pulled pork sandwich, to spicy can't eat it. went down the road to Sheetz for hot dogs for them. The pork had little seasoning on it. Now here is the kicker, likes buffalo chicken dip, some sort of Taki snacks, and I just found out flamin hot cheetos. So I really have no clue what goes through her head. I honestly think if it is made at home she doesn't want to eat it so she complains, even if it is something she would eat here if i made it.

This may be a weekly of biweekly thing of her coming here after an appointment or until they decide to send the kids to school all week, instead of 2 days.

So keep the ideas coming. i like the shake and bake thing, we could do chicken tenders, that was always a popular item when we would take them with us. We don't babysit them much any more since the Rona thing their Mother doesn't work as much on weekends. But I do see the shake n bake chicken lining up for the next time she is here. I believe she will just end up spending the day until her aunt gets home, then we will probably have a meal and at some point take her back home. it will give her a break from her other yelling at her all the time. Even though she deserves a fair amount of it.

No kids here, but I can relate to the 14 year old "I hate everything" thing. Most of my friends that I was close with went through it. Some kind of rebellion thing sneaks in and says your parents are now your enemy.
When mine kicked in at 14, I was shipped off to a Military Academy, and that worked quite well.
Chatting with neighbor's and friends kids leave me to believe that any trusted adult outside source can be valuable.
BigDave is on the right track. If she responds to the basic stuff, might take it one step further and ask, "What does your Mom think is her best cook" Make it challenge.
A friends daughter was totally in love with my SF Sourdough and wanted to learn to Bake it. Before bringing her over I described the process, and got a "never mind".
Hope @BigDave83 has more patience than me!

My mother started me on spaghetti. Boil noodles in one pot. Heat a jar of sauce in the other pot. Throw noodle against the wall to see if it sticks. I loved that!

With baking, she started me on premade cookie dough and biscuits in a tube that you just put on a sheet pan and bake.

Scrambled eggs came quickly along with grilled cheese. Eventually she taught me to brown ground beef and add jar of sauce for spaghetti with meat sauce.

I admit I had an honest interest in cooking so that may be a big difference here.

No kids here, but I can relate to the 14 year old "I hate everything" thing. Most of my friends that I was close with went through it. Some kind of rebellion thing sneaks in and says your parents are now your enemy.
When mine kicked in at 14, I was shipped off to a Military Academy, and that worked quite well.
Chatting with neighbor's and friends kids leave me to believe that any trusted adult outside source can be valuable.
BigDave is on the right track. If she responds to the basic stuff, might take it one step further and ask, "What does your Mom think is her best cook" Make it challenge.
A friends daughter was totally in love with my SF Sourdough and wanted to learn to Bake it. Before bringing her over I described the process, and got a "never mind".
Hope @BigDave83 has more patience than me!

Patience is not a strong point any more unfortunately. I have learned from working with my coworkers and over seeing, that I can look at people and watch them doing what I had asked and thinking WTH are you doing, and why? I can kind of yell at them and move on. learned not to dwell on it or allow it to really upset me and stay with me, because I am the only person effected by it. They either don't care or don't have the understanding to see what I am talking about.

The bread thing is a nice idea, thanks for that, even if I buy the frozen rolls, the things that one can make from them. Pepperoni rolls, fried bread dough, little dinner rolls.

Cinnamon rolls in a can -- really good right out of the oven.  They usually even come with their own icing!!!

My mother started me on spaghetti. Boil noodles in one pot. Heat a jar of sauce in the other pot. Throw noodle against the wall to see if it sticks. I loved that!

With baking, she started me on premade cookie dough and biscuits in a tube that you just put on a sheet pan and bake.

Scrambled eggs came quickly along with grilled cheese. Eventually she taught me to brown ground beef and add jar of sauce for spaghetti with meat sauce.

I admit I had an honest interest in cooking so that may be a big difference here.

Well I should have a better idea of her willingness to learn and as we go we can try to incorporate more things into it. Hopefully she can come up with things she likes or wants to learn to make. The scratch made items will have to wait i believe, more boxed or prepacked like cake or brownie mixes, until I see how she grasps the measurement thing. From working with her on Math the last year I don't see that moving along very fast.

I am going to pick her up early and we will start with breakfast, eggs and she wants to learn to make bacon, probably microwave on the bacon end for now. Then her appointment, and some school work. Maybe in the afternoon a pack of cookie mix or brownies, and for dinner we will get into the boxed mac n cheese, possibly in the microwave, maybe stove top depending on how breakfast goes, and I am thinking chunk up a few chicken breast and thanks to a suggestion here, shake n bake chicken nuggets.

I hope to see her have the desire to learn and then help her plan a meal that she can do for her family.