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[Maineac]

A while back I went up to the deli counter at my local grocery store (big chain) and when my turn came the clerk asked how he could help me.  I said, "I'd like a quarter pound of prosciutto sliced very thin." So he proceeded to wipe off the slicer and then went to get the prosciutto.  He returned and before he could ask me how much again (because they always do) I just offered up, "4 ounces, very thin." He turned and looked at me and said, "Which is it?" 
"Which is what?", I asked.
"Before, you said a quarter of a pound and now you say 4 ounces." he replied.

It's the truth, honest.

[Bentley]

Got in the drive thru line of the Mayberry MacDonalds last night at 6:47, got my order at 7:28....

[Conumdrum]

I dropped a mostly empty beer can off a 4 story outside staircase.  It landed on the sidewalk 4 floors down and beer splashed up to the second floor railing.  The can stayed perfectly straight on the concrete like someone placed it there.  We drank a beer to celebrate. 

[GrillinGlen]

My boss took our office out to a fancy xmas dinner at an upscale steak house.  Most of the dinners were in the $40-50 range, but they had a special on a 10oz "certified authentic Japanese Wagyu" beef steak for $250, Really!

[yorkdude]

Bentley have to ask....were the fries hot?

[bregent]

I went to a liquor store in NY to buy beer and presented my Montana drivers license. The clerk refused to sell it to me because I was not a US citizen.

[Bentley]

Had the Sausage McMuffin & Hash Brown and they were hotter then usual.  But it took 10 minutes from the time I ordered to get my order.  Usually at night it is please pull into space # 1 and we will bring your food out!  I was not even as mad at the amount of time, usually I would have just left, but was more curious after the 25 minutes to get to the order window how long it would take.  What made me mad is I was late for my AA group!

[pmillen]

I went to a liquor store in NY to buy beer and presented my Montana drivers license. The clerk refused to sell it to me because I was not a US citizen.

We went to a department store soon after returning from Hawaii.  We had been chatting with the clerk about the trip so I asked, as a joke, when I payed, "Do you take Hawaiian money?"  She asked two supervisors for advice before I told her it was a joke, that Hawaii is a U S state.  She was still acting befuddled as she took my cash.

[Bar-B-Lew]

A few months ago, I asked the person behind the counter at a hotel to put my snacks on the Underhill's tab.  She proceeded to tell me that she couldn't find a reservation for Underhill.  She was too young to have seen the movie Fletch.

[jdmessner]

A few months ago, I asked the person behind the counter at a hotel to put my snacks on the Underhill's tab.  She proceeded to tell me that she couldn't find a reservation for Underhill.  She was too young to have seen the movie Fletch.

The younger generation has no appreciation for the classics!

[Bobitis]

I'll divert a bit...

Was taking my sweety to a drive in many years ago (40ish?) and she said, "go back to the 7-11 and get some snacks". I make a left turn into a business parking lot to turn around and was immediately confronted (behinded?) with blue/red flashing lights. The officer said I had crossed an 18" yellow barrier. Funny, I didn't feel a thing. He goes on to say "the law is posted everywhere" and proceeds to shine his flashlight in the businesses windows to no avail. Regardless, he writes me up.

I go back the next day, and indeed there's an 18" yellow stripe on the road. BUT... only the inner 12" are painted with reflectorized paint. I got this!

I go to court and face a 'magistrate'. No Judge? He proceeds to tell me that I can pay $50.00 and it won't go on my record; or $30 and it will.
 It's on my record already, and yer gonna take it off? Hahaha...

I gave the city 30 bucks and told them I didn't care. Momma didn't raise no fools.

[Bentley]

I would not have got it!

A few months ago, I asked the person behind the counter at a hotel to put my snacks on the Underhill's tab.

[Peterwoody]

At a Publix recently, my wife asked the butcher if he would cut some lamb shanks in half. His response"sure, how many pieces do you want?".

[triplebq]

When I was dating my wife we went out to dinner with her parents. An Olive Garden had just opened and we put our names on the list to be seated. The hostess said the wait was 2 HOURS. I turned around to head to the car and my now mother in-law said that was OK. I waited 2 hours to eat at an Olive Garden. 

[WiPelletHead]

When I was dating my wife we went out to dinner with her parents. An Olive Garden had just opened and we put our names on the list to be seated. The hostess said the wait was 2 HOURS. I turned around to head to the car and my now mother in-law said that was OK. I waited 2 hours to eat at an Olive Garden. 

What guys won't do when in love.

Cost me much more than 2 hours!